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What is a Healthy Relationship Anyway?

July 10, 2008

It is not easy to put our friends and lovers in the same comparison because we are in love with our partners, and therefore will be more patient with them than we would with our friends. You can easily blind yourself due to the love you feel for that person and not even realize when he or she is not being a good friend and partner to you. How can you tell? A true friendship is basically the same as the true qualities that define real love. The difference is, we are in love and have a deep desire for our mates, with commitment and a goal of building a future, and perhaps even getting married and making a family together. The list below will help you see if your lover is a friend to you as well.

 

• You can talk to and confide in each other about anything.

• Your partner is there for you when you need to talk to someone.

• Being able to always rely on each other when one is counted on.

• Having a permanent shoulder to cry on when we need it.

• Having many things in common.

• Accepting one another for who we are.

• Listening to us and considering our opinions important.

 

Do not feel guilty for having higher expectations from your lover either. People often feel like they should be more lenient and understanding when it comes to their lovers. Even though it is important to keep an understanding attitude (to avoid misunderstandings and arguments), you should never let things always slide or make up excuses for your partner’s wrong doings. You should expect better and not except such behavior. You deserve better. After all, you invest most of your emotions and time into your partner, so always remember that you are entitled to receive the same.

 

As important as having that great friendship is, it is also good to remember not to let the friendship get out hand. Is it possible to let a friendship get carried away? Yes, in a relationship it is. It is wonderful when you can be best friends with your partner, but sometimes the friendship is doing so well that it receives all the focus, while in the meantime the romance (being in love) has been neglected. If you are not careful, in time, you will start looking at each other as close buddies and no longer be that passionate couple you started as. There are points that can guide you into detecting when your romance and desire is entering the danger zone before it is too late and would be suggestible to seek professional advice on how to get things back on track.

 

Remembering not to forget our desires for our partner will keep the romance in the picture. If the relationship still fails to rekindle those feelings and you or your partner cannot leave that buddy mode, looking around with curiosity for others, then your relationship will need some extra help (you can get advice on how to save your relationship). What if it is difficult to have a friendship? This can be another issue, but there are ways to help you find solutions. Some couples may share the most wonderful romance and sex ever, but not really have an actual friendship. In most cases, it would not be advisable to stay in such a relationship, but there are ways you can try and still have some hope.

 

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